I didn't shave. On purpose
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
