just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
