Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
