you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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