They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it's great music for shaving your balls
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
