he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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