I think I died a long time ago.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize