She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
