some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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