I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
