Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
