Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
