Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
