We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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