May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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