Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
