I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
