Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
