So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
