On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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