there were more penises there than on chat roulette
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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