i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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