when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Every concussion has its silver lining
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
