I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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