it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
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Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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