I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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