you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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