Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
