census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
