Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
