are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
