but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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