I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
