just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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