did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
