I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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