Where did you get a picture of my penis
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
