Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i drank out of a bidet.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
