I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
