He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
