Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize