hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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