dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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