I look better un-naked...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
