it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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