That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
