i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
