Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
