I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
