Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to

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(269): Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to http://tfl.nu/vc1c

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(843): View more from South Carolina

trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.

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(843): trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts. http://tfl.nu/p33l

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(415): View more from California

The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.

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(415): The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now. http://tfl.nu/v0wm

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g

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(508): There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g http://tfl.nu/5ffp

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.

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(781): tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner. http://tfl.nu/1bdt

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...

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(780): It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan... http://tfl.nu/8psb

Replies (20) Good night (889) Bad night (3903) Order T-Shirt
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(253): View more from Washington

So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?

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(253): So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..? http://tfl.nu/v5ou

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(773): View more from Illinois

I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.

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(773): I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax. http://tfl.nu/p0im

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(313): View more from Michigan

Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.

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(313): Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck. http://tfl.nu/ib4p

Replies (4) Good night (2002) Bad night (1356)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.

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(403): Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate. http://tfl.nu/jnzf

Replies (10) Good night (2451) Bad night (579)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.

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(317): Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices. http://tfl.nu/v5r6

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.

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(970): I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone. http://tfl.nu/5jkg

Replies (7) Good night (404) Bad night (1366)
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(216): View more from Ohio

Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message

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(216): Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message http://tfl.nu/1r6g

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(704): View more from North Carolina

At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.

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(704): At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you. http://tfl.nu/lr4p

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(806): View more from Texas

We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.

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(806): We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish. http://tfl.nu/et7p

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