Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.

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  (216): Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat. http://tfl.nu/4sne
  Replies (8) Good night (917) Bad night (1836)
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  (510): View more from California

  I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.

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  (510): I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach. http://tfl.nu/edrh
  Replies (13) Good night (1476) Bad night (4374)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

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  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1636) Good night (170689) Bad night (43015)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .

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  (609): She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . . http://tfl.nu/b8fc
  Replies (6) Good night (750) Bad night (2355)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"

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  (517): I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice" http://tfl.nu/f86r
  Replies (39) Good night (970) Bad night (6235)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.

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  (859): make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through. http://tfl.nu/bvv7
  Replies (20) Good night (7216) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.

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  (203): They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court. http://tfl.nu/8rt0
  Replies (10) Good night (6323) Bad night (905)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music

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  (303): Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music http://tfl.nu/qvs5
  Replies (9) Good night (937) Bad night (3136)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.

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  (678): we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole. http://tfl.nu/qa53
  Replies (9) Good night (2633) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We welcome drunken adversity.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  With open legs.

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  (724): We welcome drunken adversity. (1-724): With open legs. http://tfl.nu/iqs6
  Replies (12) Good night (3540) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.

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  (251): Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf. http://tfl.nu/98oh
  Replies (6) Good night (645) Bad night (2079)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..

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  (250): She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame.. http://tfl.nu/q158
  Replies (3) Good night (1149) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.

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  (626): While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid. http://tfl.nu/l2lf
  Replies (5) Good night (1834) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.

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  (816): Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg. http://tfl.nu/r8tk
  Replies (2) Good night (1137) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.

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  (815): I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds. http://tfl.nu/48of
  Replies (1) Good night (259) Bad night (348)

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