Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  ; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up

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  (734); Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up http://tfl.nu/ecut
  Replies (4) Good night (1556) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.

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  (269): I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life. http://tfl.nu/x5qx
  Replies (23) Good night (3390) Bad night (3318)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.

  (650): View more from California

  .......................................

  (415): View more from California

  My thoughts exactly.

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  (415): He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic. (650): ....................................... (415): My thoughts exactly. http://tfl.nu/05rl
  Replies (6) Good night (968) Bad night (2955)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.

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  (309): Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me. http://tfl.nu/c51e
  Replies (7) Good night (1098) Bad night (2187)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.

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  (250): I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk. http://tfl.nu/fti6
  Replies (9) Good night (2995) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....

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  (817): Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system.... http://tfl.nu/zett
  Replies (9) Good night (2803) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.

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  (319): You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar. http://tfl.nu/ei6k
  Replies (2) Good night (1468) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.

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  (913): Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high. http://tfl.nu/x992
  Replies (7) Good night (725) Bad night (1443)
• Favorite

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.

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  (848): Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired. http://tfl.nu/ghfv
  Replies (8) Good night (2279) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Oh my god

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  (336): I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown (336): Oh my god http://tfl.nu/ejg0
  Replies (3) Good night (443) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.

  (936): View more from Texas

  You are the coolest girlfriend ever.

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  (903): Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us. (936): You are the coolest girlfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/hjex
  Replies (4) Good night (1662) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.

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  (956): Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout. http://tfl.nu/rol8
  Replies (0) Good night (695) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found

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  (803): we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found http://tfl.nu/ms3o
  Replies (5) Good night (263) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.

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  (601): Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life. http://tfl.nu/h9xw
  Replies (1) Good night (462) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.

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  (708): Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs. http://tfl.nu/bjgi
  Replies (1) Good night (316) Bad night (951)

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