Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.