Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them