After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.