we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
