dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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