He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
