he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
