airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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