I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
