you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I believe in your delicious
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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