you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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