is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
