is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
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Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
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AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs