Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.