my sisters under your porch take her home
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will