Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize