i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize