I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
