Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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