Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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