she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
