One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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