Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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