good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Dear god my vagina.
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