He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
