so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize