I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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