He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
