I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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