They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
